Simple shifts to stop self-sabotaging in motherhood.

Every Mom knows the amount of stuff it takes to get out the door for an outing with the kids. We make sure every need is accounted for. We pack their favorite snacks, fill their sippy cups and grab that extra change of clothes; just in case…

We know the needs of our children. We accept & accommodate their quirks and differences; ice in his cup, she prefers the one with the straw. We are proud when we get it “just right” for each of them, because Mama knows exactly how to make everyone feel cared for. We’re pretty awesome, that way. You’re pretty awesome, that way.

But let’s be honest, it can be so easy to forget yourself. One less water cup to pack. One less snack to remember. Wait, have you even eaten today?

When we neglect our self care, we are sabotaging any chance of satisfaction and wellness we can experience in motherhood.

It’s no wonder that most self care campaigns on the internet are directed at the mom who’s got her hands full. Society knows we are overwhelmed. But with this influx of products pitched at the burned out mom, I worry that self care has been labeled incorrectly. Self care isn’t a privilege & it doesn’t need to be expensive. If we dismiss our right to self care or convince ourselves that we don’t deserve it, we are really missing the opportunity to fully care for ourselves.

Self care isn’t just stocking up on beauty products or booking a day at the spa.

Self Care is care for yourself. It’s that simple.

Let’s imagine someone else will be caring for your child today. So, you give them a list of instructions. You explain the needs of your child, your expectations and other helpful information. Now, imagine you are the child. What would you list as your needs? What expectations do you have for your environment, schedule & routine?

Really, take a minute with this. Paint the picture. Give yourself the time to honor that you have needs and it is okay to honor your preferences. It is safe to want things to be a certain way in order for you to feel supported. It is healthy to be uniquely particular. Yes, you are a mom. But, you are also an individual person. I know you may not always feel like an individual, but that does not make it any less true. And if you are overwhelmed at this point, that’s okay. Start small. In fact, that is precisely the right place to begin.

Let’s do an activity. We are going to make a list… you’re great a those 🙂 List out the things you do for yourself everyday. No judgements. No wrong answers. Here is my example:

Most of the items on my list are second nature to us. They are habitual. (Although, let’s be honest, we can easily forget a thing or two when we are busy tending to the needs of others or have had a lousy sleep.) Never the less, they are habits. You have gotten used to performing them. Since you are already doing most of these, I challenge you to customize them to your specific preferences, so you can meet your individual needs. This is self care and you can do it!

Get Specific:

• Are you feeling nourished with the care you give yourself?
• Do you enjoy the foods you eat?
• Does your wardrobe make you feel comfortable?
• Is your bathroom set up for a relaxing shower or skin care routine?
• Are you feeling prepared to go to bed & rest?
• Would you add or change anything about your habits to bring more satisfaction?

Redefining self care is as easy as changing the narrative around it. Whatever preconceived notions you had about self care, that is in the past now. You have a new inner dialogue. You know the truth about self care and you know that you are capable of it!

And the truth is that you are already doing it!

1. You take care of yourself everyday.
2. You have a right to your individual needs.
3. You get to define the preferences for your care.

I hope this exercise served you! I would love to hear your takeaways and feedback in the comments. Sending love!